A Real New Age Mouthful
I was having an out of body experience one day so I grounded myself and got
centered with the help of my spirit guides and almost astral traveled anyway, but the
phone rang. I sensed the negative vibrations so I threw the I-Ching and checked my
numerology chart and nearly had a primal, but my energy was too blocked, so I did some
bioenergetics and self parenting, took some flower essence and ate an organic oat bran
ginseng muffin, but my inner child wasn't feeling nurtured yet so I had a Rice Dream
Frozen Pie too, but that made me hyper so I did the relaxation response while listening to
my subliminal tapes, but I was feeling depersonalized so I did some polarity work, foot
reflexology and past life regression, then rebirthed myself and called Moon Beam, the
bodyworker, to make an appointment for a Shiatsu, Reike, Rolfing, Feldenkreis, Swedish,
Japanese deep tissue massage, but she flaked out and never returned my call, so I decided
to energize my crystals and do some positive imagery because all my visualization
techniques and affirmations made my space feel invaded, so to get empowered, I got a
psychic reading from Mother HeartLove around the issue of my assertiveness so I could feel
my radiance and have some energy for my psycho-calisthenics and inversion swing before my
harmonic brain-wave synergy session, which made me more focused for my actualization
seminar, holistic healing class and dreamworkshop, so I'd be more clear for my Gestalt
behavioral cognitive transpersonal Rechian Jungian Freudian Ericksonian session at the hot
springs but my aura was weak for my trance-channeling group so I fasted until noon to
recharge my chakras and I sensed my intuition was high and my cycle was focused, so I
turned on my ion generator to open up for my neural-linguistic programming session, but I
needed to have my pyramid recharged before my guided synchronicity meditation, so I got
some cranio-sacral therapy, which aligned me for the fire walk, which was between my tarot
card reading and my sensory deprivation tank appointment, but after all that I felt what I
truly needed was a meaningful relationship to mirror myself so I went to my personal
shaman, and then to my guru, but they were no help, so instead I went to the Intensive
Whole Life Earth Rebirth Cosmic Expo Symposium Workshop to find someone who really knew
what was going on, but that didn't work either, so I locked himself in a calcium coated
Orgone Box and went to sleep so I could "get it" in the dream state.
Author unknown, or just too blissed to mention their name ...
Forwarded by
DaElWalker@aol.com
Thank you
GrotonWitch's Grimoir |